Once A Fat Guy

Back on the plan for a bit

2011-03-19T19:08:00.000-07:00

Been a while since I visited the blog. I've actually spent most of the intervening time closer to 178 than my current stout 182.5. I'm still not particulary satified with my diet or exercise habits, but it's been generally OK.

Just recently though, the clothes have started to get tight again, and I've been feeling overweight. Time to get the diet religion for a while. I think I'm going to adopt the don't eat like a chowderhead diet for a time being. I'd sort of like to get down to 172, but it will take some moxie that I'm not entirely sure I want to put into it.

My biggest concern continues to be my relationship with food. To some degree, the consumption covers something else. I'm eating not to feel or to distract from emptiness. For this reason, I decided to fast today (I also wanted to clear the pipes a bit). It seems that fasting is a pretty bad idea diet -wise, but it has been an intersting exercise will-wise. About 6 gigillion times today, I've thought "I'm hungry; I need to eat". Remembering that I am fasting today has then brought a strange sense of relief. It's nice not to have to worry about it or fight it for a day.

I'm also pretty hungry and will be happy to eat something tomorrow morning.

Current Weight: 182.5
Goal Weight: 172.0

week 14 -- Up 1

2009-11-02T16:16:00.000-08:00

Bobbing along.

Starting Weight: 183.5
Current Weight: 175.0
Goal Weight: 172.0

Week 12 -- Down 1.5

2009-10-19T14:54:00.000-07:00

I'm really back on the teaching diet again. I'm not trying to lose weight but busy schedule is cutting down on my oppportunites to eat. All things considered I'm just treading water until I can get clear of a few tough weeks at school.

Starting Weight: 183.5
Current Weight: 174.0
Goal Weight: 172.0

Week 11 - Up 2

2009-10-12T17:17:00.000-07:00

Mr. Evans has requested that all inquiries about his alleged failure to lose 1 lb. and subsequent gain of 2 lbs. should be directed to his attorneys. His only statement at this time is "I'm such a yutz!"

Starting Weight: 183.5
Current Weight: 175.5
Goal Weight: 172.0

Week 10 - Unchanged

2009-10-05T17:23:00.000-07:00

Oops. I forgot my goal was to lose the weight by October 5, 2009. I probably would have put the ful court press on if I had remembered.

I'm doing the reverse of my usual thing which is my gets lower mid week and then goes up aroung weigh in. I was actually down to 171.5 at some point last week. I think the gain is from the strain of carrying David Letterman's love child.

I'm headed for goal this week. 172 or bust.

Starting Weight: 183.5
Current Weight: 173.5
Goal Weight: 172.0

Week 9 -- Up 0.5

2009-10-02T18:30:00.000-07:00

I weighed in Monday at 173.5 which was up a half from the prior week but down a half from my goal for the week. All is good.

This blog is kinda boring.

So is weight loss. It does seem to help to know I'm accountable to this strange cyber-audience (who I estimate to be 3-4 people). I can't say I would blame people for not being entirely interested because (as mentioned above) this blog is pretty boring.

Perhaps it would spice things up if I admitted that I am one of the women who had sex with David Letterman. I weighed 210 back then too.

Sadly, I'm a man. I mean not that I don't like being a man. It just kinda ruins the David Letterman confession thing. It might be fun to be a woman. I've already got the obsessing about the weight thing down, and I'd realy rather not shave all things considered.

Perhaps I could admit that I am a man who has had sex with David Letterman which frankly would make the whole blackmail scheme more feasible. We have presidents who have sex with the people at work for crissakes. No real news there.

OK then.

I'll just go make some microwave popcorn now.

See ya next week when I'd like to be 172.5.

Starting Weight: 183.5
Current Weight: 173.5
Goal Weight: 172.0

Week 8 -- Minus 3

2009-09-21T17:39:00.000-07:00

Now that's more like it!

I've been hovering around 174 all week, and then I blew it on Sat night. I went over to a friend's house and played board games (because I'm a geek) until the wee hours of the morning. I managed to avoid the bowl of peanut M&M's (because I have a will of iron) but not the salt n' vinegar chips (because I have feet of clay). I was up on Sunday morning, and I thought I might have to stare at 176 on Monday morning (yet again).

The fat gnomes came and took away some butter in the night, and I was a svelte 173 this morning. Ironically, my goal for next Monday is 174. To mathematically minded, it would appear that my goal is to gain a pound. In fact, this would appear to be my goal even to those whose math skills have been described as "strong in English". But I think the 173 is a false low brought on by over-zealous calorie counting yesterday (aka starvation). That stuff tends to rebound, so 174 will be plenty peachy for next Monday.

Starting Weight: 183.5
Current Weight: 173.0
Goal Weight: 172.0

Pre-recovering from my First Heart Attack

2009-09-18T17:52:00.000-07:00

I have quite the family history for heart disease.

My mother died of a heart attack a year and half ago. My father has had a quintiple bypass. All of my paternal uncles have had bypasses or heart attacks. My paternal grandfather had angina. My maternal grandfather died of congestive ehart failure. My maternal grandmother had two strokes and spent the last 8 years of her life in a nursing home. This summer I visited my only maternal uncle in a nursing home. He had a stroke about a year ago.

A few years back, I figured that rather than change my habits after I my first heart attack I'd just change them now. Losing the weight was good step, particularly since it went hand in hand with a change in diet. Quitting drinking was even better. Since I have stopped even the occassional beer, my blood pressure has fallen below 120/80. It was climbing up to 135/85ville a few years back.

Last week I went to the doctor to have a cholesterol test. My numbers are OK (LDL 128, HDL 38), but it's time to do something about them. In a few years, the low HDL number will start to catch up with me. The simplest change I can make is to get a little religion about exercise. I'm not a total slob. I usually make it out the door once/week to run for 2-3 miles. According the Doc, if I can make it out 3times/week, that will be a big improvement.

So there you have it.

A new resolution.

Week 7 -- Unchanged

2009-09-14T17:04:00.001-07:00

*sigh*

It might be time for a new strategy. I am staying pretty true to not eating like a Chowderhead. I have forgone many treats this week during my daughters birthday and am generally eating sensibly. It looks like a little something extra may be required.

I was going to throw in the towel on Friday. I'd like to lose the last 4 lbs, but I'm pretty happy with my weight. Most of my pants now fit (though some of the 34's continue to be hard to breathe in) and though it is a few lbs over 25 BMI, it's a good weight.

I decided to keep going simply because I said I would. I wanted to lose 11.5 lbs by October 5th. Well, it ain't October 5th yet, and I'm actually right target. It always seems like a good idea to give up on a plan in the middle. 172 may seem unecessary now, but I said I'd go for it.

I guess I'll keep at it.

Starting Weight: 183.5
Current Weight: 176.0
Goal Weight: 172.0

Week 6 -- Up 0.5

2009-09-07T20:19:00.000-07:00

Ah nuts.

It was such a promising week drifting slowly down. Sunday morning I even saw 172.0 flash on the scale, but this morning a nasty 176.0 sneered at me. I did have a fairly substantial steak dinner Sunday night due to my 11 year old's birthday (She's a carnivore's carnivore!) Still, I didn't expect to gain 4 lbs.

Shooting for 175.0 next week

Starting Weight: 183.5
Current Weight: 176.0
Goal Weight: 172.0

Week Five -- Down 0.5

2009-09-01T17:44:00.001-07:00

OK. A pokey week.

Monday, I was happy to be down at all because I was a chowderhead several times during the week, including a major faux pas at DQ. As a 43 year old non-drinking man, there's not much left for me to do to "glop out". When I have a week (like I did last week), there's not many options for decompressing.

1) Go running -- OK, but you have to be in kinda a boy scout mood anyway to do this.
2) Go to a movie -- Diminishing returns. I think I mayhave reached my quota of Hollywood blockbusters.
3) Read a book -- Wohoo!

Need some new ideas here.

Shooting for 174.5 next week

Starting Weight: 183.5
Current Weight: 175.5
Goal Weight: 172.0

Week Four -- Up 1.5

2009-08-25T03:50:00.000-07:00

Good.

My weight shot up about 3.5 lbs on the first day after I weighed in last week. I had a fairly large pig out session that night because I had been not eating much. It was beginning to feel like Weigh Watchers where I would lose 2-3 lbs a few days before weigh in and then have my weight pop back up. Habits from being a high school wrestler I guess.

My weight yesterday when I weighed in was 176, and so it is today. I'd rather float down than get into the 3 lbs off, 3 lbs on routine. I'd like to get to 175 by next week.

Starting Weight: 183.5
Current Weight: 176.5
Goal Weight: 172.0

Week 3 - Down another 3 lbs.

2009-08-17T21:49:00.000-07:00

A mostly pretty good week with a few ripples. Friday night I went out to dinner and got a seriously large bacon cheeseburger with fries. Clearly, this qualifies as a Chowderhead move. Next day, however, I was down a pound. Go figure.

I really am not complaining, but I have the suspicion that this is "easy off" weight which means it will be "easy on" later. I did have a bit of a stomach virus over the weekend, so it didn't take a whole lot of discipline not to eat a lot.

My goal would be to get down to 173.5 by next Monday. I'm hoping to take out the running shoes this week. I could use a few three milers to help the cause.

I've been reading the Waste the Waist blog. It is a good read.

Starting Weight: 183.5
Current Weight: 174.5
Goal Weight: 172.0

Week two -- Down 3.5

2009-08-10T05:36:00.000-07:00

The weight has been jumpy this week. Earlier in the week, I was down to 178.5; Friday I was up to 181 again. I was traveling mid-week to visit family in Tennessee, so I made a few less than optimal choices; however, I never went to far off the range. Over the weekend, I was back to good choices, and I even went running yesterday.

I think the 177.5 is a little low. It may be challenging to lose the pound this week.

Starting Weight: 183.5
Current Weight: 177.5
Goal Weight: 172.0

Note: All my weights now are in home scale weight. When I started the blog, I usually wrote about my weight according to Weigh Watcher's scales, but now I no longer belong. Home scal weight is 3 pounds lighter than Weight Watcher's presumably more accurate scale.

Don't Eat Like a Chowderhead Diet

2009-08-03T07:47:00.000-07:00

Before I start, let me say that I am astounded at how much progress people have made since my last post. Most everyone is still at it. Way to go! I am humbled by your efforts and successes.

I've been gone a while, but not much changed since my last post. For about two years, I've been on the Teaching Diet.

The Teaching Diet works like this:

1) I eat whatever I want.
2) During school, I generally don't eat much during the day because I'm too busy.
3) I tend to run about once a week in an attempt to retain sanity (I teach middle schoolers).

The Teaching Diet has pretty much kept me at 178. Every once in a while I get to 175, and sometimes I get above 180 (like holidays). It's not bad for weight maint even it not that healthy.

Last week, I got back from vacations and the like and the scale said I weighed 183.5, so it was time to do something before things went real bad. I have opted for the the Don't Eat Like a Chowderhead Diet. It works like so:

1) I know the dumb stuff to eat, so I just don't eat it. *
2) I know about how much is a reasonable portion, so stick to that.
3) Try to eat unprocessed food.
4) Eat lots of fat free microwave popcorn. **

I weighed myself this morning, and I am at 181.0. A 2.5 lb loss in a week is good. I'm shooting for 1 lb/week. I had some challenges because I had a party and a birthday during the week. On my birthday, I had an ice cream cone figuring that this was a reasonable treat on my own damm birthday. The piece of blueberry pie at the party was, admitedly, just a Chowderhead move.

I'm going to see how far I can get on this diet . My goal would be to get to 172 by October 5, 2009. If I get stuck along the way, I'll consider other options. Perhaps back to Weight Watchers.

Glad to be back.
Don Q.

* Lady Lean seems to be using a similar strategy.

** Note: Rules 3 and 4 do conflict. Oh well. Microwave popcorn is the methadone of food addiction. It's crap, but better than the other crap you're already on.

Sir Chubalot

2007-09-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

Sorry to have been quiet for so long. Since June I have ended a career in computers and started one in teaching. I have moved several hundred miles south to a hotter and bigger city. I have gotten rid of a lot of stuff and am living a big more frugally.

Weight is about the same.

Nonetheless, I have stopped weighing in with weight watchers and making the end of the month 5 lb dip down to make weight. My weight on the home scale has stayed pretty consistently around 178. At goal weight, the home scale was usually around 172. I trying to head in that direction, but honestly I am much more involved in my new profession. Still, I am questing again so I have reclaimed the title Sir Chubalot.

A belated welcome to Sir Fluffy. Good luck on your quest, Sir Knight.

June is done

2007-06-22T12:34:00.000-07:00

Weighed in yesterday. About the same weight and pre-weigh in sheananigans.

I had the reverse of most months. I had been pretty good most of the month and then right at the end I went into a tailspin. Lots of going away festivities and last weekend I was working on a research paper (which naturally required me to eat chips and cookies).

Sir Twice the Man

2007-06-19T10:34:00.000-07:00

I'm not taking you off the blog roll, Sir Twice the Man.

This has been a hard journey for you, I know. You have a challenge greater than the one I faced. I refuse to take your link down not as a judgment, but simply as a subborn show of my support and hope for your well-being.

I hope to see you around.

Sincerely,
Don Q.
Lord Chubalot

The last 5 lbs

2007-05-31T12:09:00.000-07:00

Weighed in yesterday. It was a wrestler's drop 4 lbs the day before type affair. I was at 175.2 on Weight Watcher's scale, 172.5 on mine.

As I have mentioned several times before, I'd like to get out of the drop 4-5 lbs at the end of the month thing.

There are many tricks do get the last few lbs off:

1) Weigh in in running shorts, rather than normal pants. ( -1 lb)
2) Weigh in before you've eaten or drunk anything that day ( -1.5 to -2.0 lbs)
3) Weigh in after a run (- 1 lb or more)
4) Skip dinner the night before ( - 1 lb)

Back when I was going to Weight Watcher's every week, I wouldn't really use any tricks because what was the point? I'd just have to do the same thing next week. But I did use the tricks to take care of the last 4-5 lbs. In the past year, I have been treading water right around the same weight which menas I still haven't lost that last 5 lbs.

To so this would take a significant amount of effort. Diet would have to change and exercise would have to become more rigorous. I'd have to stay on task for about 2 months I figure. That's a fair piece of discipline for the privilege of knowing my weight is "truly" 5 lbs lower.

Exercise may be the key. One of the reasons I want the last 5 to go is I want to fit a bit more comfortably in the 34's pants. Slimming the waist, regardless of impact on weight, will be good for this.

I'm still not ready to push my chips in on this one, but I'm thinking about it.

Success -- sort of

2007-05-25T12:00:00.000-07:00

I wanted to hover right at 174.5 this week, so I could take the last couple of pounds off in the last weel of the month. So I weighed 175.0 this morning, but it was and up, then down again week.

Mon: 176.0
Tues: 176.5
Wed: 177.5
Thur: 175.0
Fri: 175.0

Here's the wierd part. Wednesday afternoon, I decided to say the hell with it and got a double cheeseburger and fries. Next day I lost 2 lbs. Sometimes it just seems random.

Now at 175, I could easily go for a run tomorrow morning and then weigh in at 10 , and I'd be pretty close. I think I'm going to wait though and see if I can float down to 172 in the next 6 days. I seem to have set 178.5 as my upper limit during the month. I'd like to reset the number to be 175.

New Knights
A warm welcome to Sir Fat Lazy Guy and Sir Captain. There are at different stages in their respective quests. Sir Fat Lazy Guy has a way to go on his goal but has been wrestling with his demons for a bit. Sir Captain has been at the weight loss game a while and is working on that last 35 lbs.

The Same 6 lbs

2007-05-18T11:04:00.000-07:00

Hit the scale this morning at 174.5. When I get down to 172, I usually am right at my goal weight 177 at weight watchers. At the end of last month, I struggled down to 172 and then quickly put the 6 back on. On May 7, I weighed in on the home scale at 178.5. Unlike other months, I set to taking this off right away. Surprisingly, it didn't want to come off. It has take me a couple of weeks to get back down to 174.5.

My goal for this week is to hover right around 174.5 all week and then take the last 2 lbs off next week.

1YAM

2007-05-01T06:27:00.000-07:00

That's 1 Year at Maintenance weight.

Weighed in my local weight watcher meeting on Saturday. 177 on the button. That makes it a year at goal weight. This is good, but I'm still living in a off the diet/ on the diet duality. I gain weight in the beginning of the month and lose it at the end so I can "make weight". The cycles are getting smaller though, so this is progress.

New Knight
I warm, if somewhat belated, welcome to Sir Half the Man. He emailed me a ways back, but I have been a slacker. Glad I finally got around to it because he's kicking ass and taking names. Looks like he lost 50 lbs in 13 weeks. Way to to go. Welcome Sir Knight and well met.

Anyone else I've forgotten to add to the list, please just post in the comments of this post.

SpiderMan Opens Around the Blog World
Spider63 seems on a mission to combat obesity by posting agressive encouragement/ tough love comments on every blog on the Internet. In a causal search, I see he had tagged Sir Twice the Man, Lady Lean, and Tim the Exercise Oracle. Reactions are mixed. While some people applaud his tactics, others suggest they are less than helpful. I thought I'd weigh in on the topic because ... umm ... I dunno ... because controversy is fun.

Change is hard. For some reason, we are wired to continue doing whatever the hell we did yesterday. Every so often change is forced upon us, and we have no choice but to change. These are trying times, but we come through them because we have no other choice. It is even harder to make a change when we do have a choice.

There is nothing to stop us from eating in unhealthy ways. In fact, the opposite is true. There is an entire culturural/corporate complex out there which encourages us to consume unhealthy foods in unhealthy quantities. In order to change, we have to really want to change because it will take a whole lot of effort and a whole lot of time. Personally, I have lost weight and kept it off, but I have not yet changed. I am still compelled by food. I may have kept my desires under control for some time (about 2 years now), but I am a long way away from saying I've changed.

Is tough love part of this process? Yes. I think so, but it has to come from a select few individuals -- namely, those people whom you know love you. Unless someone is sure of your love for them, I wouldn't deal them any "tough love". I have received a dose here and there from my wife and Tim, the Exercise Oracle (whom I've know since I was 8). Mostly they held up a mirror to my face and said,"This is what you look like when you're saying this. Do you believe it, cuz I don't?"

I also believe in honesty. When people ask for an opinion, I think it is a good idea to give them an honest one. When I do, I try to remember the words from a Quaker hymm, "Speak truth in a loving way". (I seem to be big on love today.) This is hard since the temptation is just to soften what you mean to say so you won't hurt the person's feelings. In my experience, it has less to do with what you say and more to do with the feeling you have when you say it. And it is always better when someone asked me for my opinion in the first place.

Fat Tuesday

2007-02-20T07:20:00.000-08:00

No pun intended. I love Fat Tuesday. One of my fondest college memories is of piling into a car and driving many hours to New Orleans for Fat Tuesday. (I still think about you every year Jen and Nick). Bacchus is alive and well and visits the French Quarter annually.

Lent
In my 30's, I started liking Fat Tuesday for a new and completely opposite reason -- it's the day before Lent. As a child, I was always asked to give up something I liked during Lent. I'd usually pick something fairly harmless like "pizza" and then forget and break my resolution at first chance. We always talked about it, but it generally got the same respect as a New Year's resolution. My grandfather was the only one who kept to it. Every year he gave up his nightly cocktail during Lent.

First Efforts
Fast forward to my mid-30's. As the bloom was leaving my rose, my bad habits were starting to have more of an impact. As such, I decided to use Lent as a tool to tame them. This practice eventually led me to my quest for weight loss several years later.

The first year I gave up alcohol. This was hard, but I made it. 47 days is just about the perfect amount of time for giving up something. It's long enough to be a serious challenge but not so long as to feel like forever.

The next year was caffeine. Surprisingly, this was the hardest Lent I have had to date. I had no idea I was so addicted physically and tied emotionally to caffeine. I thought after alcohol, caffeine would be nothing, but it was brutal. Even after I had gotten the caffeine out of my system, I still craved it psychologically. I had been using it to raise my spirits throughout the work day. (A friend put this rather well-- "Drinking coffee is kinda like having a little party at work." ) Without coffee and Diet Coke, I came face to face with all the stuff that I hated about my work day and life.

I had a few off years. One year I chose sarcasm. (That was a great idea!) It lasted about 4 days. One year I chose coffee and alcohol. Didn't really work strangely because it was hard but not hard enough. Giving it up just felt annoying; there was no stretching involved. I had done both before.

The Big Year
Three years ago I gave up consumerism. This was my first blog (which I later removed). I gave up everything that wasn't really necessary. I didn't eat anything except for basic foods -- no sweets or snack foods. I didn't drink anything except for milk and water. I didn't buy anything except for groceries and the occasional item. No restaurants. No trips to Barnes & Noble. No TV. No movies.

Not surprisingly, I found that I had a great deal of time on my hands. At lunch time, I took to walking. In the evenings, I found myself often confused as to what to do. I already had a good number of books to read, but I also was exhausted. Even though I have a post-graduate degree, it took me a week or so to come up with the idea that if I was so tired perhaps I should sleep.

So I did. I slept a whole lot during that Lent. Two or three times per week, I would go to bed at 7:30 PM and get about 10-11 hours of rest. In my late thirties, I did something that I no longer really thought was possible -- I got well rested. The combo of being well rested and not giving into consumption impulses was quite eye-opening for me. In a way, it was a waking up experience. I had been covering up exhaustion with consumption, and the message to consume was firmly implanted in my brain. I attribute this to years of TV and our culture in general. My solution to most problems was to consume, if not alcohol then coffee if not coffee then food if not food then movies if not movies then ...

Running for Jesus
Last year, I chose an affirmative Lenten goal. Rather than giving up something, I chose to do something active; for Lent, I ran an hour every day. This worked out pretty well. It was not the best choice from a fitness perspective (i.e. not enough recovery time), but it was good for developing a will to do things.

Reaching Nirvana
This year I am choosing another affirmative goal. Each day of Lent I will meditate for half an hour. I have been trying to develop this habit for about 15 years now with little success. Unlike last year, I will not take Sundays off. I don't get the sense that one needs to take a day off from meditating to "recover". Being that it's Fat Tuesday today though I guess I'll ... what would the opposite of meditating be? Hmmm.

Returning to Earth
Easter will be big this year. In addition to being the end of Lent, it will be the end of another quest I have had for myself. On April 7, 2006, I laid down a challenge not to drink any alcohol for an entire year. (The exact time is fuzzy because my resolve was accompanied by a hangover.) It just so happens that April 8, 2007 is Easter, so it will be a very Happy Easter at my house.

Still Lord Chubalot

2007-01-26T10:52:00.000-08:00

Hit Weight Watchers weigh in at lunch today in shorts and t-shirt (Yes, it was cold actually). Did a 3 miler with Lord Lessismore first to shake off the last half pound or so. Weighed in at 178 which means I had a lb to spare. Ihope to take off about 3 lbs by the end of Feb, so last minute heroics anre not necessary and I can weigh in a pair of jeans ('cuz it gets real cold in Feb).

Round the Horn

2007-01-22T04:23:00.000-08:00

Sir Man Boobs asks whether or not I'm reverting to the title of "Sir" since I'm over my goal weight. Nope, so long as Weight Watchers has me as a lifetime member, I'm keeping the title. This means I've got 8 days to lose about 2 lbs or I will be stripped of my title and thrown off my lands.

Last week was good, but I ran into a couple of pizzas over the weekend. If I can be a good boy for like 4 days, I think I'll make it.

New Knights
A warm welcome to The Earl of Arrogant Bastard. What can I say? It's my favorite beer, so I figure its got to be a good blog. I haven't seen too much about his weight loss quest, but I'm sure it's coming.

Welcome also to Weight Trimmer, Esquire. He appears to be one of them there foreign types, like Sir Man Boobs, who weights himself in comparison to large stones out back. He deserves early kudos for taking on weight loss during the holidays.

The Rest of You Bums
Sir Semisolid put on a few lbs over the holidays, but he hasn't fessed up to the exact numbers yet.

Sir Man Boobs had a rough holiday as well. The man who seems to be as consistenet as gravity had a 5 lb gain one week. Yikes! But he's back on task and drifting down again. He'a got a neat herbal tea trick that I'm goign to try out.

Lord Lessismore posted in December, but hasn't put up post holiday numbers.

Sir Lee Padthaiserver remains quiet on the subject of weight loss in his main blog, but he assured me in the comments that things are going well. How about turning some of that writing talen ttowards the subject of weight loss?

Lady Lean is struggling with how to resist the temptation to eat when onw has a lot of time of ones hands. I have noted that it is much more difficult to stay on track during the weekends. When one is retired, everyday is a weekend. ont he other hand, these are the types of problems to have.

Sir Twice the Man is still inaccessible to me. Has anyone been in touch with him?

Sir Squishy has been taking lumps but is resolved to get back on the wagon. He's starting over. I have a hunch that he will see his goal weight before he sees his current weight again. I'm not entirely sure why though. A certain honest self-awareness comes across in his posts and that is going hit paydirt sometime. My bet is sooner rather than later.

Josh, Esquire is back and ranting, baby. He has some choice words about some cheesheads who did a study to prove that chocolate milk is the best post workout exercise drink. I like his mandate about shopping the edges of the supermarket. Most of all, I found his post about changes he is going through interesteing. Something that began as weight-loss is becoming more of a personal growth thing for him.

Duchess Tuckus ... Duchess? Duchess? Don't make come up to Canada and haul your ass out of McDonalds.

Sir Bellyjeans managed to have a net negative during the holidays. Off to a good start!

Lady Atkins is on an uptick from a birthday binge. I have not had time to catch up on her blog since she is prolific. I will do so though because it sounds like she is trying some diet pills. My first reaction to this is that it is a bad idea, but I want to read more to see what's going on (which I should probably do before I post this but I don't have time right now so you can see I'm kinda stuck oh well).

Tim, the Exercise Oracle may be coming back. I'll keep ya posted.

Holiday Plan Achieved

2007-01-15T09:49:00.000-08:00

I gained a whopping 7 lbs in December, but it was a hell of a month. Thank goodness I'm off beer, or who knows, I might have gotten into double digits. Jan 3rd I tipped the home scale at 179. Need to take 7 lbs off to get back to 172 on the home scale which usually equates to 177 at Weight Watchers.

It's been hard to get back into the diet swing of things. As of this morning, I'm down to 176.5. Another lb or 2 and I could skate under my goal number by employing the odd wrestler's trick or two. I don't like to make this a habit, but I'm not above weighing in first thing in the morning in shorts when I haven't eaten anything (perhaps even after a run) this month to get by.

I am totally out of the loop with blogs. I will try to get back up to speed in the next couple of days. We have a few new knights to welcome and I want to check in with all the hardy veterans as well. More soon.

Holiday Plan Part 1 Complete

2006-11-17T12:17:00.000-08:00

OK, I hit my numbers for November. Today I was 172 on the home scale and 177.2 at Weight Watchers (in jeans and a belt). I evn saw 171 a couple days ago. I was tempted to aim below 170, but in view of the upcoming holidays, it seemed too tragic. I'll all set for part 2 when I eat like a pig on Thanksgiving.

New Knights
A welcome to our newest questers -- Sir Bellyjeans and Carb Addict, Esquire. Sir Bellyjeans is just starting out but like most of us, he's been up and down before, including a 35 pound stint in weight watchers. Like Sir Semisolid and me, he also has a crippling chess addiction.

Carb Addict has already knocked off an impressive 60 pounds and is just trying to work out those last few nasty ones. She is a self-described ex-witch who believes in "head covering" (I assume a practice similar to wearing a yarmulke). Her blog also has reflections on Chritianity and "gratuitous cat pictures". Looks like its going to be an interesting read.

Old Knights
Sir Semisolid is going strong. Literally. He's doing a lot of weigh tlifting and focusing on fitness.

Sir Man Boobs had a few hiccups but is trending down again and recently became 2/3rds the man he used to be.

Lord Lessismore is doing well, though I haven't been able to get him to post since last Spring. He is still at goal weight though I suspect him of eating donuts on Fridays. Please drop by and call him a slacker!

Sir Lee Padthaiserver ... I dunno. He's been silent on the subject of weight for a while. What's up with that, Sir Lee? Have the Pad Thai been getting the best of you?

Lady Lean is having a heck of a time of it. Please drop by and give her an encouraging word.

Sir Twice the Man is a big mystery. He made his blog private, but none of us know how to contact him to ask for access. Hope all is well with him. We all miss you, Sir TTM.

Sir Squishy is awash in to-do lists but continuing to work his way down weight-wise.

Haven't heard much from Josh, Esquire.

And Duchess Tuckus has been a little quiet as well. She comes and goes, but I eagerly wait her next installment.

Last but not least, the noble Tim has been busy. Though he is still taking a break from his duties as the Exercise Oracle, he has been competing in the World Triathalon Championships. Needless to say, his weight is pretty good.

If you'd like to join our merry band, please give put a note in the comments. All you need is a blog and a noble title.

Making a Holiday Plan

2006-11-01T11:00:00.000-08:00

I made my October weigh in last Sunday. I was a good 1 lb under, but I was wearing shorts and hadn't eaten yet that day. No major spikes in October though; I was within shouting distance of 172 morning weight all month.

I'd kinda like to see a weight that starts '16'. 169 would be good enough. It's a nice idea, but it would take something resembling real effort, and it would just be wasted with the holidays coming up. It'll have to wait.

Holiday Plan
---------------
1) Weigh in sometime before Thanksgiving
2) Eat like a drunken sailor on leave on Thanksgiving
3) Try to return to goal weight by mid-Dec. The longer I wait the better
4) After December weigh-in, throw all caution to the wind and eat like I am fattening up for nuclear winter.
5) Jan 15 -- asses damage

It's not the healthiest plan in the world, but it is ... honest.

The Duchess Returns

2006-10-25T13:09:00.000-07:00

Duchess Tuckus returns after an extended absence. Welcome back, Duchess. We missed your poignant humor and your sordid tales of illicit Big Mac runs. How can you not love someone whose avowed life purpose is to save the world?

Hogs and quiches,
Sir Chubalot

Most impressive result yet!

2006-10-09T10:50:00.000-07:00

I got the results back from my cholesterol test last Friday.

LDL: 130 (thought they said 113 but than doesn't add up to 171)
HDL: 41
Total: 171
Triglicerides(sp?): 80 something

All normal!

I haven't been so surprised by a test result since I passed the AP physics exam. I was all set to bite the bullet and really push hard on diet changes, but it looks like I'm doing pretty good with the changes I've already made. Hell, I would have put money on me being on Lipitor within 3 years (after my diet and exercise changes failed to being the number down).

In the money again

2006-10-04T10:01:00.000-07:00

Weighed in last Friday after work. I was exactly 177 in shorts and T-shirt, so all is well. Friday morning I hit a home scale wake up weight of 172. My goal is to try to stay at this number.

Naturally, my weight, somewhat unjustifiably, shot up to 174.5 the next day. This was not due to a after weigh-in ice cream binge, though I did have chicken pargiana for dinner. My diet is generally pretty good though I have noticed a disturbing trend to hit the fridge after dinner. I think I need to get back to the morning breakfast and to hit the rack when I get tired rather than staying up late (and eating).

This marks week 18 of lifetime membership in Weight Watchers. Most of that time I have been above my actual goal weight and have been coming down for a visit as the month end deadline looms.

No Pressure
Hit another goal yesterday. I had to go to the doctors and when they tokk my blood pressure, it came back 110/69. This is way down from the 135/90 numbers I was seeing abck before the diet. I am offically pre-hypertensive no more. While there, I had my cholesterol officially checked. I have a feeling that there are going to be more diet changes in my future related to this. Given this, I immediately went out a had double-cheeseburger while I still could.

Under the wire

2006-08-30T14:40:00.000-07:00

Weighed in last night in shorts AND a t-shirt. No last minutes sweaty runs in plastic bags were necessary. WW weight was 178.4 which is 1.4 lbs over my goal weight, but .6 lbs under the allowable 2 lb buffer. In short, success!

I'd like to lose another 3 lbs by this time next month. That way I would be under 177 in essentially everday clothes. Will try to gently float that way over the next few weeks. If I can get to a home scale wake up weight of 172, that should do it. If I can make it down to that, I think I'd just like to hover there for a few months.

In the home ... shrink

2006-08-28T10:21:00.000-07:00

Got to face the music with a Weight Watchers weigh in sometime before Thursday, the last day of the month. This morning the home scale read 175.5. Now, here's where the fun begins.

1) My goal weight is 177, but I am allowed a 2 lb margin, so anything below 179.1 finishes in the money.

2) My home scale reads 3 lbs less than WW. No way around that. This makes my WW weight 178.5.

3) At home, I am buck naked (at least when I weigh myself and when we have the in-laws to dinner). It is impossible to wear clothing that weighs less than a pound. WW = 179.5. Normal clothing weighs about 2.5 lbs (WW 181), so weigh in in normal clothing is right out!

4) I weigh myself at home first thing in the morning. I usually weigh in at WW after work. After work weight is usually 1 lb more than wake up weight. WW = 180.5.

So here's the plan. Hit 174 on the morning scale by Wednesday morning. Pack shorts and T-shirt to put on after work. Weigh in after work at the 6PM Weds meeting.

Any questions?

Isn't it cheating to weigh in wearing shorts?
Mind your own business! Maybe I just feel like going barefoot and topless in a very small pair of running shorts as a fashion choice.

Why not weigh in at a meeting first thing in the morning?
Feels like cheating and is a pain in the butt.

Isn't this "cheating" definition rather subjective?
Yes

What if you are still a few lbs short Wednesday after work?
I could do a quick run. That will usually take off 1.5 lbs. It's water weight, but good enough.

Oh come on now. That's got to be cheating!
You never go running after work? You really should; it's very refreshing.

Wouldn't it be better to just let the numbers come out however they do honestly and then take whatever corrective action is required? Wouldn't that be the more responsible, long-term view?
Yes

So that's what you're going to do?
No.

I Keep Workin' My Way Back To You, Babe

2006-08-17T06:23:00.000-07:00

A little song that the Spinners used to sing to a girl, and I sing to 177 lbs.

Ah yes. It was a nice month away. I can't say I was actually vacationing, but it was nice to be away from work. I did indulge in a vacationer's diet, however. When I returned on July 30, the scales tipped at 184 -- 7 lbs over goal. In all fairness, that was also the day after my 40th birthday. Not a tragedy but clearly some work needs to be done. Back to diet mode.

I've been moderately good with some lapses. Exercise is 3x/week and diet is almost there. This morning the scales were at 181. At this pace, I can make goal weight of 177 by the end of August (when I have to put my fat-ass on a scale at a Weight Watchers meeting). I think I will need to be strict on the diet to drop the last 4 lbs in two weeks.

After that I'd like to just hold the line for a few months. This up and down stuff is a bit tiresome.

Dancing with the Devil

2006-06-28T05:59:00.000-07:00

Now that I am officially in maintenance mode, I don't have to weigh in except once per month. This combined with the fact that I was travelling for business last week has put me up a bit. When I returned from travel, I was 5 lbs over my goal number. Half of that quickly fell away early this week, but I think I may have to return to diet mode for a couple weeks to take it down to the magic 177.

I should like to get to the point where I am hovering around 175 so that my upticks still leave me under goal weight, but each time I get to 177, I lose my resolve to be in diet mode.

I am maintaining the barest semblance of an exercise regimen. I'd guess I'm averaging just over 1 time per week. While this is far short of the 4 times/week that is optimal, I note that it is better than nothing. the lunchtime run has become enough of a part of my life such that even when I am more or less screwing off I am still hitting the streets some.

My apologies to Knights and Ladies for not keeping up with your quests. I am crazy busy and will continue to be so until August.

Ain't nothing so nice ...

2006-06-08T05:13:00.000-07:00

As to say it twice.

Sir Pork in Boots is back and ready to fight again.

I'm particularly glad since I had threatened him with violence if he did not return, and a careful reading of his blog sidebar informs me that he is training to be a black belt. Hey, I'm always willing to get my ass kicked (and a good thing to), but I hate to have to fly somewhere to do it.

He's got a goal to lose 12 lbs in a month. Yikes, a tall order. Best of luck and know that your comrades in arms support you.

Prepare the (low) fatted calf

2006-06-06T05:52:00.000-07:00

for a prodigal son has returned! Please all join me in welcoming Sir Squishy back to the Knights of the Round Bottoms. The Evil McDonald's seems to have taken hold of his heart and mind in the Spring, but he is strapping back on his armor and riding forth once more.

Imagery aside, I can't tell you how much I respect people like the Big Squish man who acknowledge they have not succeeded at what they were trying to do and who dust themselves off and try again. This takes an odd combination of moxie, humility and pragmatism.

Good on 'ya, Cobber!

Week 41 (Under Goal Weight)

2006-05-21T07:20:00.000-07:00

Weighed in at weight watchers today. My weight was down a couple of pounds but that is a false loss. It was a morning weigh in, and I was wearing shorts. Weight is unchanged. One nore week and I will be a lifetime weight watchers member. So long as my weight stays under 179 (2 lbs over my goal weight) and I show up once per month to weigh in, I don't have to pay. When I plunk down a check for $12 next week, my total bill for weight watchers will be around $350, about $10/pound. Well worth the money.

Week 40 - 3.2

2006-05-19T05:32:00.000-07:00

Acutally this is a week overdue. I weighed in May 11th at 176.6. I also noticed that I miscalcuated my gain from the prior week. I was only up 1.6 (now corrected). Maintaining weight, at least so far, is easier than I thought (knock on wood, cross my fingers, spit over my left shoulder). I am not actually sticking to a formal diet. My strategy is more like the weight watchers core plan with more exceptions.

Exercise is going OK. I am probably averaging two runs a week. I'd like to get back up to four, but I'm content to sluff off for a while. Will take my temperature about it again on June 1.

Weight: 176.6
Weeks at Maintenance Weight: 4
Pounds Lost since August: 34.6
Number of Horsemen of the Apocalypse: 4
Number of unsuccessful attemps at spelling "Apocalypse": 3
Number of 7 deadly sins that can be committed while playing the banjo: 6

Week 38 & 39 +1.6

2006-05-07T07:44:00.000-07:00

Out of town on business. It is very hard to be good when traveling for work. Usually you eat at nice restaurants, and you don't have to pay. Fortunately, I won't be traveling again for at least a few months.

I am returning to weight loss mode this week.

Week 37 +1.4

2006-04-20T16:41:00.000-07:00

A false gain. I actually lost about half a pound, but I weighed in work clothes, not in running shorts with no shirt. Home scale weight shows the loss.

Things are good.

Weight: 178.2
Weeks at Maintenance Weight: 1

Good an ya, Cobber.

2006-04-18T06:41:00.000-07:00

A big shout of congratulations goes out to my bud Joel, (aka ... Tim. He achieved a goal that had eluded him for 11 years. In Boston yesterday, he broke the 3 hour barrier in the marathon.

That's right, 3 hours.

For 26.2 miles, he averaged 6:48 minute/mile. Clearly, simply, inexorably awesome. In a lifetime of impressive achievements -- varsity crew at Cornell, completing an Ironman triathalon, and beating Ricky Mewhirter in the 600 yard run in 6th grade -- this is one of the most impressive.

Week 36 --Lord Chubalot (-4.2)

2006-04-15T16:38:00.000-07:00

It was a double witching day. At 10:30 AM, I weighed in at my local weight watchers meeting. The receiptionist saw my weight and asked whether or not there was anything I could take off. Assuming her question was weight-related rather than a proposition, I removed my shirt and she pronounced me at goal weight. (She also stuck a fiver in my running shorts). It was solid dieting week, but the last two pounds can be attributed to the fact that my work clothes weigh 2 lbs more than running shorts.

Came home and ran for an hour thus completing run number 40. I'll be real glad not to have to run anymore for a while. Kinda of beat up and pretty sick of it.

I started this journey in March 2005 with a trip to my favorite burger and fries joint. This afternoon I celebrated reaching goal the same place. It was pretty good but not as good as I remember.

I'm done losing weight for a while, probably forever, but will keep posting about the journey of keeping the weight here. I've been here before three times, and I know it is easy to slide back up to 210 lbs. So long as I continue to maintian my estate, I remain ...

Lord Chubalot

Weight: 177.0
Net Pounds Lost: -34.2
Pounds till goal: 0.0

Week 35 + 1.0

2006-04-09T11:31:00.000-07:00

Ah nuts!

This weight is as of Weds. Traveling and trying to be good but it's harder than I thought. It's easy to pass on obvious things off the diet, but you can't always tell how much butter is in your entree. I knew I had eaten some stuff that was off the diet, but I thought I would still lose.

Running continues. I haven't run today yet, so I have 6 runs left. Developed a chronic soreness in my right hip. It's not bad, but I will be glad to give it a few days rest come Easter. Hoping that clears it up. Thoughts, Tim?

Week 34 -1.2

2006-03-31T07:45:00.000-08:00

I'm going for it. I'm going to try to make weight by next week's weigh-in. I'm off to a lousy start as I sorta celebrated last night, but the damage is not too bad.

Next stop --> 177.0

Weight: 180.2
Net Pounds Lost: -31.0
Pounds till goal: 3.2

Smelling the Barn

2006-03-27T06:44:00.000-08:00

As I rounded the 2/3rds mark today on my daily run this AM, I caught the faintest whiff of the barn. Metaphorically, that is. As that run is complete, I have only 2 more this week until I will have 4 weeks complete and two to go in the Lenten Fitness Program. Well, strictly speakin, I'll still have another two days after that, but I'll be so close then that it will be easy. I did say I caught a "faint whiff" of the barn, not a big noseful.

And another thing
My ass hurts. At first I thought it was a bruise thingy on my hip from falling while playing soccer, but that was 10 days ago. I think I must have changed my stride or something because it's achy. Used to be that I would feel it in my quads when I'd run, now it's me haunches.

Week 33 -4.2

2006-03-24T07:05:00.000-08:00

Bam!
Pow!
Put it on the good foot.
Ow!

This is my second largest weekly loss. The only bigger one was the first week on the diet.

Things came together this week. Body adapted to running, and I stuck to the diet pretty closely. Missed 30 pound marker by a hair. Almost halfway to goal weight. Think it is unlikely that I'll have such a big loss next week, but two weeks looks very possible.

Not surprisingly, the running is steady, but my times are not improving. Bit of a tradeoff. Although I was eating more crap before, there was also more fuel for muscle rebuild. This is also combined with the fact that my body never really fully recovered from the shock of Saturday's soccer game until my day off yesterday.

Weight: 181.4
Net Pounds Lost: -29.8
Pounds till goal: 4.4

V-BP Day

2006-03-22T09:46:00.000-08:00

What to wear ... what to wear.

Keep walking, cheese-ass. You'll never fit in here.

Everything's a little big. Maybe I shold try those new black pants.

Maybe you should try pole-vaulting with a broomstick. 'Bout as likely to be successful.

Don't even try it.

Don't ... oh, give me a break. Will you never give up, bubble-butt.

There, that's not so bad. They feel pretty good. Not tight at all.

Wait 'till you sit down. We're gonna grab yor waist like tango dancer. By 2 PM, you'll be trying to figure out how to unbutton your pants at work without looking like a perv.

I think these might not even be tight after lunch.

Monkey's may fly out your ass too, but I wouldn't count on it.

Wow, that's great. I've been waiting for a month to get into these comfortably.

You're a such putz.

One small step for this fat guy ...

2006-03-20T05:54:00.000-08:00

one giant leap for fatguykind.

The step was from my bed to the floor. It was not unusual even at 4:30 AM. But I was not going to the bathroom; I was going running.

My highest ambition in my running programs is to go running first thing in the morning. There are three major obstacles to this. First, I am not really a morning person. Anyone who knew me before the age of 25 is now blowing coffee out of his or her nose at this heinous understatement. Even though it no longer requires a cannon to wake me, I am still not an early riser. Second, in the morning division of labor, I have choosen the role of making breakfast -- a task that begins at 6:30 AM. So, in order to run an hour and return in time to be Chef Chubalot, I have to hit the road at approx. 5:20 AM. Third, (and this is the killer), my wife is a light sleeper and once woken cannot get back to sleep. As such, in order to go running at 5:20 AM and preserve marital harmony, I have to wake up without the benefit of an alarm clock.

In my thirty-nine and half years of life, I have accomplished this task -- once. I acutally got up at 4:30 because I kept waking up to look at my watch. I dreamt all night that I was in a train station asking people what time it was. I was finally pretty confident that it was 1 AM when I realized that people in my dream world probably had no idea what time it really was.

I'd like to report that I feel like a new person, but the truth is that I feel like a ten pound bag of cow turds. Played soccer Saturday and ran long on Sunday. Still recovering.

Diet Update
Back to fundamentals is hard. Hadn't realized how much I was sluffin off to "Well, I'm running an hour a day". I do get some extra allowances for the exercise, but I was taking more. Even so, my diet allows me to eat as much as I need to feel "satisfied" of certain healthly foods. It's worked great until this juncture, but I may have to start doing the version where I count everything I eat.

Milestones
I almost forgot. Today is the one year anniversary of my weight loss effort. In my orignial entry I was going to try to lose weight without dieting and only running. That petered out after 10 weeks and I went back to 200+. Second effort started in August and is still going. I noted that I have passed all of the milestones I set for myself back at the beginning of the first effort but have achieved none of the goals. I am close on blood pressure (123-5/78) and resting pulse (54). I didn't even scare 100 days of consecutive running, and I am no longer shooting for 170 as a target weight. Actually, in weight watcher weight, that goal would be to shoot for 175. You have to add 5 pounds to all these weight related goals since they were based on my home scale weight.

I also passed 1000 minutes of running during Lent. This Thursday will be the halfway point.

Week 32 + 0.7

2006-03-17T05:50:00.000-08:00

*Sigh*

The second week of essentially unchanged. It is more than just Tim who suggests that I might should consider a different goal. The group leader at Weight Watchers suggested that I should get a doctor's note to raise my goal weight above 177 pounds. After all, the BMI charts are for both sexes, and men typically have more muscle weight than women. I might be working against myself by building up heavier leg muscles through running. I've slimed down quite a bit and should consider whether I might be at a weight that I'm comfortable at.

All very reasonable.

My response is --> Read my lips, 1 - 7 - 7.

Not 180, Not 178. Not 177.2.

I don't care if I run a marathon everyday from now until Easter and don't lose a pound. The number is 177. I don't care if Jack Lalane shows up at my doorstep and crowns me "King Healthy" for 2006. 177. I don't care if super models start sending me letters asking for tips on how they can look skinnier. One Seven Seven. I don't care if Sherilyn Fenn offers to have wild sex with me a fortnight if only I'll raise my goal weight. The number is ... well ... maybe, I'd go 179 for that.

Except for that, it's

1
7
7
.
0

Weight: 185.6
Net Pounds Lost: -25.6
Pounds till goal: 8.6

Back to Fundamentals

2006-03-14T06:07:00.000-08:00

So running is going well. I'm a bit shagged, but this is not entirely unexpected. I really have never recovered from this Friday.

What did I do on Friday? Interval training? an extra hour of running? Soccer?

No, Hold'em. I played poker until the wee hours of the morning (Finished second!). Since I am single parenting these last two weeks, there was no rest for the wicked come Sat morning. I have noticed that I have not felt fully recouped since then. Rest day coming up on Thurs though, and wife returning Friday.

Fundamentals, dammit
I'm a quarter of the way through the Lenten Running Program. I think I've gotten over the initial physical shock, so it is time to return to the dieting fundamentals. I have been being restrained but not doing strict tracking. As of today, I am back to the core Weight Watchers program.

Week 31 -0.5

2006-03-10T11:01:00.000-08:00

This is unofficial as I haven't had time to go to weight watchers. I'm playing Mr. Mom this week, so it's all I can do to keep up with the hour of exercise a day. The exercise is going great. The first couple of days my knees hurt, but that has slacked off. Did a little cross training and things are much better. Running a little over 5 miles a day for 8 straight days, one would think would take off a little more 40 FUCKING MILES IN EIGHT DAYS AND ALL I LOST IS A HALF A GODDDAMM POUND. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE SHITTING ME. I COULD HAVE SAT ON MY BIG FAT ASS FOR 8 DAYS, SKIPPED AN APPLE AND LOST HALF A SHAGGING POUND. THE NEXT PERSON WHO TELLS ME THAT MUSCLE WEIGHS MORE THAN FAT IS GETTING THEIR GODDAMM HEAD SHOVED UP THEIR ASS weight, but hey that's the breaks.

I'm in it for the long haul and in no hurry. Can't wait till next week!

Blog of Will

2006-03-06T07:37:00.000-08:00

Comments on my last post have been rather colorful. It has made me want to put down a few things about me and what I'm trying to do here. I think the misunderstandings in the comments have worked themselves out, but it does seem like the process has tired out The Exercise Oracle. I hope he returns soon, but I understand. He did just start a new job last week.

So What Am I Doing Anyway?
Yes, this blog is about losing weight, and that is my main focus right now. Last year, I was blogging about improving at chess. They are really the same thing. (Stick with me. I will all come together, I promise). There are thousands of people worldwide today who want to improve their chess game. (Don't believe me? Go do a search on amazon.com on the word "chess".) Appearances to the contrary, the process of improving at chess is relatively simple for the amateur. It requires drilling of chess "patterns", a process akin to learning your multiplication tables. So I did. I followed a program to do this, and in about 6 months I had learned the requisite information. During that time, my chess rating (i.e. a number calculated based on your tournament results) improved more than it had in the prior 20 years of playing chess. It was very successful.

Same thing is true of weight loss. There are millions of people worldwide who want to lose weight. Everyone knows what needs to be done more or less -- eat less, exercise more. There are exceptions and refinements for every situation, but most weight loss (and chess improvement) plans fail right in the starting blocks. We just don't do them. We lack the will.

ultimately, for both blogs, I have been trying to develop my will power. There are things I want to do in life and with my remaining 30-60 years, and I'm not going to get them done without a better will. So, it is important for me to reach my goal of 177 pounds, not because it is a particularly ideal number but because it is a number I have chosen. I have made it a magic "mission accomplished" spot.

I have really learned a lot about myself and what it takes me to get things done. I really would like to write it all out someday, but I don't have the time now. Suffice it to say that I used to equate my lack of will power with an inability to "suck it up and do things, dammit". I did lack that, and I've gotten a little better at it. But I'd say now that this is only one of the tools in the "will toolkit". You definitely need it sometimes, but if you're using it too much, you are doing something wrong.

I misunderstood Joel's comment to me. I thought that he was saying I should just "suck it up" and stick to the program (He was actually suggesting something else.) The reason I found it helpful is that it is my least favorite tool, but sometimes it is the best tool for the job.

It came out a few times over the weekend, and I will make it to 177.

Week 30 +2.6

2006-03-03T06:16:00.000-08:00

Most of this came in week 29 when I skipped weigh in, but this week has not been an exactly model week. There are several reasons for the gain which I will now (thoughtfully I might add) list for the Weight Watchers police should they wish to try to press charges. (You'll never take me alive, Pigs!)

Please note I'm gonna skip the first level reasons (i.e eating food/drinking beer/not exercising) as they are pretty obvious. What follows is the second level reasons (i.e. the reasons for the first level reasons).

1) It's hard to be good when depressed. Depression is a funny thing. Sometimes you can beat it by "bucking up"; sometimes you beat it by taking it easier on yourself. At some point, getting out of the funk became more important than staying on the diet.

I am feeling great now though. It has passed.

2) Lately I have been gearing up for Lent. The exercise thing is my plan for the big final push to get me over the top (under the top?). As such, I haven't been too worried about staying on the diet.

3) I am still committed to my goal of making it to 177, but I'm in no real hurry. I look forward to shedding the last 8 pounds, but I'm feeling pretty good having lost the 25 already.

4) It's my mother's fault. She didn't toilet train me until I was two and half, and I have been a fuck up ever since.

And One More
Welcome to Lady FJL. She and I share a passion for white wine, and thanks to her I now know what type of undies I am. (I had been wondering). She may have the distinction of being the only current Knight whose family actually used to have a title. My ancestors only came out of the coal mines a few generations back, and our titles are related to ale consumption.

Weight: 185.4
Net Pounds Lost: -25.8
Pounds till goal: 8.4

Running for Jesus

2006-03-01T09:34:00.000-08:00

Alright. I'm decided. For Lent this year, I'm giving up not running for an hour every day until Easter. Except Sundays. Or Thursdays. Depends on the week.

Hmmm. That doesn't really sound right. Lacks a certain something.

OK, I still need to work on the phrasing, but you get the idea. This morning I popped out of bed and ran for an hour straight without stopping.

OK, that's not right either. That's what I meant to do, but it is my wife's birthday, so I was busy being a good husband (OK, a passable husband). My inaugural run will have to wait until this evening after the kids go to bed. Yes, I know I shouldn't leave my wife alone for an hour on the evening of her birthday, but it's not my fault she was born on Ash Wednesday. I'll be a better date on her birthday than I was the year I gave up caffeine, and set a better example at Easter services than the year I gave up beer (Hey, Lent ends at midnight where I come from).

New Kn-ig-its
Welcome to Sir Squishy and Sir Pork in Boots . Both knights have been at this for a bit and are on their way. Sir Squishy has recently embarked on a quest to avoid temptation in the land named "McDonald's" for 59 days. Should be finished right around Easter. His site is also a nice source of inspirational and humorous quotes. Sir Pork in Boots just started a very intense exercise regimen. I had to take a 10 minute break after reading the thing I was so exhausted. I hope you can make it through to Day 3, and yes, pigs do sweat.

I YAM what I YAM
Lord Lessimore posted recently to note the end of his first Year At maintenance weight. His example continues to inspire me and make me think that I may some day get to and STAY AT a healthy weight.

There has also been a comment sighting of Sir Howling Belly. He has been accosted by the mysterious Mr. Mojo. More on this as the story develops.

Man attacked by cookies, skips weigh in

2006-02-24T05:29:00.000-08:00

I was brutally attacked by a rogue gang of oatmeal chocolate chip cookies earlier in the week. I was too busy filing a police report yestereday to do my weigh in. According to the home scale, I'm up about 1.5 pounds. It wasn't just the cookies. Being assulted by bonne bouches is very traumatic, and I'm afraid I indulged to drown my shame.

Knights is hopping
In addition to Lady Lean, we have a new member in Twice the Man. He is still settling on a name. In the interim, I have listed him as a squire.

Duchess Tuckus dropped by. Her life continues with tales of karokee with special needs adults and losing her pants (not at the same time). Never a dull moment with the Duchess. She still does not seem ready to dive back into the weight loss quest but perhaps soon. Keep me updated, Duchess.

Lent

2006-02-22T06:32:00.000-08:00

I'm a big believer in giving something up for Lent. This year though, I feel like I've given up a enough with the diet and beer restrictions. I thought of a few other possibilites, but nothing seems to fit. As such, I think I am going to revert back to my original plan for this blog -- running for an hour a day.

Unlike my original plan, I won't do this for 120 consecutive days but will plan to do it "only" for the 40 days of Lent. A quick peek at the calendar will reveal that there are 47 days of Lent, not 40, but I am not couting Sundays. I do this for two reasons. First, if I don't rest at least one day a week, things will start falling off around day 14. Second, Jesus "only" spent 40 days in the desert, but the church doesn't count Sundays since you are supposed to good on them to begin with. Fair enough, I'll be spiritual on Sundays, but I won't run.

My only problem is that I think I will have to take Thursdays, not Sundays, off for scheduling reasons. Still working on some theology to back up the switch. I'll keep you posted.

I have a week still to come to my senses, but I think this is a stupid idea who's time has come ... again.

Ser Arlene to be Named Later

2006-02-22T05:37:00.000-08:00

We have a new knight, Ser Arlene to be Named Later (no doubt a relation to Sir Not Appearing in This Picture). Please drop by and say hello and enourage her to join the Breyers Ice Cream 12 step program.

Update

Our newest member has chosen the title of Lady Lean.

Week 28 - 1.0

2006-02-17T06:06:00.000-08:00

This has just been a sucky week. Fighting off a bout of depression, so it is very hard to get up any enthusiasm for dieting. In fact, it's hard enough to keep to the tenets of basic hygiene let alone healthy eating. I had a few lapses and have not stayed true to my knightly oath.So all in all, losing 1 pound is an accomplishment.

It probably helped that I weighed in buck naked.

Weight: 182.8
Net Pounds Lost: -28.4
Pounds till goal: 5.8

Drum roll please

2006-02-15T12:26:00.000-08:00

Total weight lost by the Knights of the Round Bottoms to date:

77 pounds

Anyone heard anything from Sir Howling Belly?

Week 27 +0.6

2006-02-10T10:33:00.000-08:00

Who would ever think I was so happy to gain weight?

This could be one of my most sucesssful weeks on the diet! I went to resort hotel with family and ate 3 days of gourmet food served in gourmand quantities and only had the slightest of upticks. While I had a great time and denied myself little, I acted with some restraint. I passed on a few things and ate reasonable portions.

For example, when they had the buffet to end all buffets on Sat night, I got me a healthy helping of prime rib and a few other things. In prior years, I might have gone back for seconds (OK maybe even thirds, the food there is really good), but this year stuck with one serving. I enjoyed myself but refrained from eating like a complete asshole.

Been thinking about Tim's suggestion about future goals. I had been considering what I was going to tackle after achieving this goal, but none of it is health related.

Possible health/fitness related goals would be:

1) Lowering my cholesterol level to below 200.
2) Training for a half-marathon. I'd like to do a marathon actually but that's too big of a commitment. Half-marathons have the "marathon" word in them and require about 1/4 of the training.
3) Starting a more comprehensive fitness program. Might be fun to be more than just "not fat".
4) Get weight to 174, the true cutoff for a 24.9 BMI
5) Train to be able to run a 5 minute mile. Not sure how possible this is. I never run fast, nor have I ever been fast. 6 minutes may be more reasonable. Have no idea except that 4 minutes is right out.

I figure I have a month or so before I will have such problems.

Weight: 183.8
Net Pounds Lost: -27.4
Pounds till goal: 6.8

Straight on Until Morning

2006-02-07T08:31:00.000-08:00

Official weigh in a couple of days. Looks like I'm up a pound or two which would be great given the little vacation I just had.

I have two milestones left. The last will be 177.2 which will mark the achievement of my goal weight. Once I hit that I will just try to stay there for a while before I condsider anything new. But before I get there, I will have to reach 181.2 pounds. This will be 30 pounds lost and my final "5 pound" sticker before goal.

Finishing things is hard for me. I have a tendency to fizzle right at the end, so I am trying to stay focused.

Week 26 =

2006-02-01T13:02:00.000-08:00

Dead even.

No official weigh in this week, but home scale is holding steady.

Weight: 183.2
Net Pounds Lost: -28.0
Pounds till goal: 6.2

Turning 39 and a half

2006-01-30T05:23:00.000-08:00

I've never been much of one for half birthdays. In fact, I never really bothered to calculate when mine was. Saturday night I found out when I came home from a movie and found 30 people in my house yelling "Surprise!". It is highly likley that I will be out of town when I turn the big four oh in July, so my wife wanted to make sure I had a proper party.

Needless to say, the diet was pretty much shot for the remainder of the evening. On that other hand, I didn't eat much on Sunday as I was feeling rather "delicate". Back to routine until Thursday when I go to visit family.

It was very gratifying to see people who I hadn't seen since I lost the weight. Received many compliments on how different I looked. Lotta fun.

Week 25 -2.4

2006-01-26T17:45:00.000-08:00

Another good week. Apparently, lack of beer is a great motivator.

I can already see how the next few weeks will play out. I will probably lose a couple of pounds this week and then head off for a big family weekend a week from today. I think we will see a slight uptick (but it will be fun). Should be at least mid-Feb before I can take a serious stab at getting under 177.

Feeling good.

Weight: 183.2
Net Pounds Lost: -28.0
Pounds till goal: 6.2

Words

2006-01-25T05:04:00.000-08:00

Language exerts hidden power, like a moon on the tides.
-Rita Mae Brown

According to my scale this morning, I am "below average". The average Amercian male between the ages of 30-39 weighs 184 pounds. My home scale puts me slightly below that. I'm not usually that fond of being below average, but I rather like it in this case.

It was another word that got me started on this particular effort -- obese. At 211 pounds, I was classified as obese according to the Body Mass Index. I wouldn't say that was the only reason I started losing weight, but it is probably the single most significant. Though only a word, I was willing to make changes in my life to avoid it.

I should strive to reach a weigh to 174 lbs. Unfortunately, the word for that is "normal". Though a good thing medically, I've never taken to that word. In fact, I rather dislike being referred to as normal. I'd much rather be below-average, abnormally not obese.

Week 24 -2.6

2006-01-20T11:50:00.000-08:00

Despite Tim's suggestion to the contrary, I am not starting over at week 0. I will consider doing so in March when I hit my one year anniversary of the weight loss effort. It is still very motivating to me to consider this as one effort.

Good week. Two weeks in a row of decent weight loss. another .4 of a pounds, and I'll be at a new weight low.

Weight: 185.6
Net Pounds Lost: -25.6
Pounds till goal: 8.6

Week 23 - 3.6

2006-01-12T17:22:00.000-08:00

Good news: My current weight means that I have passed the "10%" mark, i.e I have lost more than 10% of my body weight since I started.

Bad news: This is the third time I've done it in 2 months.

Gauntlet tossing was helpful earlier in week. Really was time to suck it up. Think I have also discovered the new secret.

Lessons learned in Week 23
1) Drastic changes from a rich, holiday diet to a veggie/bean diet invites flatulence.

2) Flatulent dads receive no requests for extra bed time stories.

3) Cats are not affected by the smell of flatus but can be startled enough by the sound to fall off the kitchen table.

4) One night, OK. Two nights, couch.

Weight: 188.2
Net Pounds Lost: -23.0

Throwing Down the Gauntlet

2006-01-10T05:45:00.000-08:00

To myself, that is.

On October 13, 2005, I hit 188.8. It was the 10th consecutive week in a row that I had lost weight. I went to a weekend with my family and put on 3 lbs. That was no big deal. One needs to cut lose every now and again.

Since then, I have developed the habit of cheating on the diet, and I have floundered in my efforts. As I look at my record this week (i.e supposedly my first serious week back on the diet), I am not impressed. I haven't been eating like I did during Xmas, but I'm finding a lot of excuses for myself. Time to suck it up.

As a noble Knight of the Round Bottoms, I hereby make the following oaths.

Until such time as my weight reaches 177 lbs, I pledge:

1) to forego the pleasure of alcoholic beverages
2) to obey the tenets of my "Core" program as set forth by the cruel sisters at the Weight Watchers nunnery
3) to exercise thrice during the week and once during the weekend

My noble father has invited my family to feast with him during the first weekend of February. During such times, I will suspend my oaths in deference to his hospitality. ( A knight has to have some fun).

So sworn,
Sir Chubalot

Week 22 -0.6

2006-01-06T05:43:00.000-08:00

Some good news among the bad. Going back to the diet and exercise regimen seems to be paying early dividends. Sadly, this isn't rocket science. If I eat responsibly and exercise, the weight trickles down. If I sit on my butt and eat cookies, it seems to trickle up.

Glad to be back on the program. As fun as it was to wallow in the holidays, all the eating made me feel crappy. The extra poundage means GDW3P is up. Looking forward to feeling a bit less of me.

Lessons Learned Over the Holidays
1) Going off the diet loses its charm after a day or two. "Cheating" results in diminishing returns.

2) Chocolate chip cookies are an exception to rule 1.

3) I will chase after diminishing returns given the chance.

4) The older I get the more I enjoy reading books in my pajamas as my core vacation activity.

Weight: 191.8
Net Pounds Lost: -19.4

Weeks 20-21

2006-01-03T07:28:00.000-08:00

It was glorious holiday season, and I've brought some of that joy with me to work today ...

on my big fat ass, that is.

Haven't had an official weigh in since mid-December, so I'll use numbers converted from my home scale.

Week 20: 190.4 (+2)
Week 21: 192.4 (+2 more)

Weight this morning was down a little because ... because ... I have no fricken idea. I was thirsty when I woke up. Maybe I was dehydrated.

Back to the diet starting today. Nice light breakfast. Eating popcorn now as I type. Been so long since I ate popcorn that I almost miss it. More later. gotta get to work now.

Week 19 =

2005-12-15T06:23:00.000-08:00

Dead even.

I'll take it.

Weight: 188.4
Net Pounds Lost: -22.6

Week 18 +3.2

2005-12-09T05:30:00.000-08:00

Actually weeks 16-18. 3.2 is net from week 15.I'm probably down a pound this week. My weight over this period is:

Week 16: 187.2 (estimated)
Week 17: 189.4 (estimated)
Week 18: 188.4

I have a little spreadsheet to track my weight loss. Has graphs and stuff. It becomes pretty apparent looking at it that my weight has been pretty static since mid-October.

I had a thought last night that maybe I should put weight loss on the back burner for few months and focus on lowering cholesterol. Not that these are mutually exclusive. Just a question of rationing my "have-tos". From a health perspective, the cholesterol number is more important.

Let's do the numbers

2005-12-08T08:34:00.000-08:00

I just took advantage of an in office mini-physical. Checking your health in the middle of the Xmas season -- brutal! Anyway, here are the numbers:

1) Weight: 186 (my estimate) ergo BMI: 26.7

Still work to be done here, but much better. I'd like to get to the healthy number of 25.0. the screener informed me I should try to lower this, and I mentioned I was down from 30. (So back off)

Blood Pressure: 124/78
This is down in the past months. Diet, exercise and bit more moderation with alcohol have knocked this down. I had been seeing 135/90 like numbers. Good for me, but I'd still like to knock this back to get under 120/80.

Glucose: 72
Very good. Perhaps even a tad too low. Good news since there is some diabetes in my family.

Total cholesterol: 227. HDL: 33
Bad. Not heinous but pretty bad. I really need to do something about this. I already have, but I will need to do more. If I don't get this down a bit, I'm going to have to either a) take statins or b) have a heart attack. Don't really want to do either. Realistically, there is only so much improvement I can take on at once, so I don't plan on getting religion about this right away except for increasing fiber and exercise. If I could get HDL above 40 first, then I could tackle getting the total number down. A project for the spring perhaps.

Might try to take a resting pulse tomorrow just for grins.

Not Dead Yet

2005-12-07T05:17:00.000-08:00

Sorry all. The combo of Thanksgiving and being on the road for a week has meant I neglected my Knightly duties ... in more ways than one.

I'd say I'm up about 3 pounds at this point. Thanksgiving was a bit of an uptick and then traveling with a lot of dining out was even more. Though I am certainly not the poster child for proper dieting, I have been relatively restrained. I have managed to keep myself from sliding into a complete spiral.

Will pay the piper with a visit to Weight Watchers tomorrow. My goal is to exit the holidays at 185 as I entered them.

In other (non-dieting) news, Double Bastard Ale is now available. If you live in the US and have any liking for dark beer, I suggest you get you a 22 oz Double Bastard. It is simply the best beer I've ever tasted, and you can only get it during the holidays. There are only 30 cases in the whole state of Virginia (Sorry, commonwealth of Virginia). I am now proud possessor of one.

Week 15 -3.4

2005-11-18T05:50:00.000-08:00

Nobody was more surprised than I was. In fact, I made them weigh me twice. My weight had been hovering at 188ish since week 11. I had a spike up and then down and then I couldn't lose to save my life. Particularly hard was week 13 where I thought I did pretty well and ended up gaining .5 a lb. Week 14 I couldn't make weigh-in (and I didn't want to).

This week I had been more or less taking off. On advice from Tim, I went out and had a few juicy meals. (In all fairness, I believe his suggestion was for a singular trip out). Come Monday, I went back to the program, but not exactly with vim and vigor. Have had a cold. Maybe that has something to do with it.

Reflections at Week 15 -- "Sucking it up" versus "fuck it"
One of the main reasons I have taken on the weight loss quest as well as my earlier chess quest is my perception of myself that I don't have a lot of self-discipline. There are many things that I find myself wanting to do and/or stop doing that it seems I can't change. It always seemed that everyone else had better control of this than I. Part of my problem is that I grew up one block away from Tim, the Exercise Oracle whose powers of self-discipline are legendary.

My problem, as I saw it, was that I didn't have the ability to "suck it up". (Note to Temposchlucker: "Suck it up" means to just do something even if you don't want to, to do something on pure will.) I could see what I wanted to do; I could logically know that it was the right thing, but in the moment, I would fail. For example, I would go on diets where I would do great for a while. No mattter how tempted I was I would suck it up and stay the course. After a time though, I would just give up. This is where "fuck it" comes in.

Continuing with the diet example. A typical diet would end when I would come home from work one Friday at the end of my rope. I would want to scream,"I'm mad as hell and I ain't gonna take it anymore." I would then proceed to eat, drink and be merry. I would have a grand old time and that would be the end of the diet.

My diagnosis: I have no self-discipline because I can't suck it up when I need to and I always just say fuck it. It took me a while to realize that this is not true. In fact, I came to realize what is probably obvious to everyone else on the planet.

Obvious Earth Shattering Realization #1 --> These are 2 different reactions to a bad SITUATION. The only real long-term solution is to cut out the bad situation, not to change my reaction to it. The situation was that I was completely out of any strength to do what I wanted to except for my own personal bull-headed will.

So I started to try and figure out why I got in these bad situations. I found the bad situations had a few common characteristics. They usually happened when I:

a) was physically tired
b) had had a long string of "have tos"

Obvious Earth Shattering Realization #2 --> I need more regular rest in order to have good will reserves. This was best summed up in what I used to say about my chess regimen: "My enthusiasm for doing 2 hours of chess problems seems to have a strong correlation with what time I went to bed last night".

Obvious Earth Shattering Realization #3 --> There is a limited amount of things in one day that I can make myself do. It wasn't that I couldn't suck it up, I was sucking it up all the time. There are many things as an adult, parent that I just plain have to do -- get out of bed, go to work, take care of children, etc. By the time I got to "don't eat donut", I was just plain out of gas.

Speaking of have to, I have to stop this now and go to work. Will continue with thoughts at later date including

Obvious Earth Shattering Realization #4 -->bad situations still happen. Suck it up and fuck it are both still necessary.

Weight: 185.2
Net Pounds Lost: -26.0

And Now a Bit of Silliness

2005-11-14T15:52:00.000-08:00

This is the funniest thing I've seen in a while.

I have some profound thoughts about diet and weight loss, but it'll have to wait.

Not Going So Well

2005-11-08T10:41:00.000-08:00

In a funk.

Can't seem to get full and/or to keep myself on the straight and narrow. Exercise is a bit spotty too due to various and sundry factors (half of which are really justifiable problems). Should be pushing the scales up again this week.

Considering laxative alternatives.

Wondering if I really need left arm. (How can I lose the weight I want ... and keep it off?)

Beginning to affect GDW3P.

Mayday! Mayday! We're going down!

Everybody back. He looks like he's gonna blow!

Week 13 +0.4

2005-11-04T10:44:00.000-08:00

Ahhhhh nuts.

Weight: 188.6
Net Pounds Lost: -22.4

Week 12 -3.2

2005-10-28T06:27:00.000-07:00

Back on track! [Cue AC/DC]

I managed to take off what I had put on during my "week of plenty" while visting relatives. I wouldn't say I was Spartan about the whole affair, but I was making a good effort. In particular, I have re-started my exercise routine (4x/week 30 minutes) and am keeping to the core program more or less.

In the long run, it's the bread that kills me. Watching it seems to be the single biggest factor. If you've missed it, you might check out this link about the dangers of bread use. Among the more telling statistics is that "more than 90 percent of violent crimes are committed within 24 hours of eating bread". Scarry stuff.

Took a waist measurement this morning --> 36", not too shabby. That's a loss of 5.5".This confirms what I have noticed -- the GDW3P factor is non-existent. In fact, I may have to buy some new pants.

Lessons learned in Week 12

1) A clothing tape measure taking from a knitting bag first thing is the morning is likely to be very cold

2) Coming back to the diet after an absence is difficult. It takes an effort similar to the one it took to get started.

3) It gets no easier to walk by the doughnuts every Friday morning

Weight: 188.2
Net Pounds Lost: -23.0
Waist: 36"

Week 11 + 2.6

2005-10-21T05:51:00.000-07:00

It had to happen eventually. It's a complete mystery to me how I could put on weight in a week where I did not exercise and ate like a drunken sailor on leave. It almost seems like fried food must be fattening.

I spent the weekend with my brother and father. I more or less decided that I was going off the range, and boy did I. Lots of cheeseburgers and fries. Some breakfast sandwiches, though not too many deserts (There was that giant chocolate chip cookie though). All in all a good thing. I was starting to get sick of the diet and needed a break.

Welcome Asher Hunter

Our newest knight is Asher Hunter. He has just lost his first 10 via weight watchers. Looks like its going to be an extertaining read. From his blog:

eating chicken wings is like having the best sex of your life with an assassin who is trying to kill you. Sure, fine, I know she is trying to kill me, but the great sex is worth the risk.

Love is like racing across the frozen tundra on a snowmobile which flips over, trapping you underneath. At night, the ice-weasels come.

Welcome Sir Knight! Kudos to Sir Man Boobs for directing him to our esteemed group.

Lessons Learned in Week 11

1) It's good to take a break every now and again.

2) Some cheeseburgers aren't worth the pounds.

3) Burger King's french fries are definitely not worth it.

4) Being really full has become a very unpleasant experience.

Weight: 191.4
Net Pounds Lost: -19.8

Week 10 - 1.8

2005-10-14T10:59:00.000-07:00

I made it to 10%.

For all of you not playing Weight Watchers at home, this is a big event. You get a special keychain and pick your ultimate goal weight (which I didn't do because I had to go to a meeting). Just under 22 and half pounds. That a lot of butter.

Lessons learned in Week 10

80% of success is showing up.

Weight: 188.8
Net Pounds Lost: -22.4

FAQ

2005-10-12T20:34:00.000-07:00

If you have question that you don't see an answer for, post it in the comments. I will try to update from time to time.

Who are the Knights of the Round Bottoms?
A group of internet bloggers who are seeking to lose weight or have lost weight and are trying to keep it off.

Why Knights of the Round Bottoms?
Because "Knights of the Big Fat Asses" lacks a certain je ne sais quoi

How do I join?
a) Start a blog about losing weight.
b) Ask Sir Chubalot to add you to the list of official knights
c) Record your progress on your blog

What does it cost to be a member?
Membership is free in monetary terms but will most likely result in heavy karmic debt and/or time in purgatory.

How can I get my weight loss total included in the grand total?
Go to The World of Tim and post your stats in the weekly comments.

Why is the guy at the "World of Tim" named Joel?
Because there are only some who call him Tim.

What is GDW3P?
General Discomfort While Wearing Work Pants. This is an approximate measure of girth that, while somewhat subjective, is absolutely vital to long term happiness.

What's the difference between a Knight and a Lord?
Knights are those who quest for weight loss. Lords have achieved their goals and strive only to maintan their "estate".

Why are some people listed as Esquire?
Those who have accepted the quest but haven't come up with a title are listed as squires.

I've noticed that people frequently gain weight in weeks where they pig out. Why don't you just keep to the program to guarantee weight loss?
That's a good question. I think you'll find the answer at http://www.bitemydickyouwanker.com.

Is membership permanent?
Not entirely. If you don't post for a long time or your blog 404s, then we presume you mortally wounded on your quest and remove you fromt he roll.

How can I lose weight?
I am not a dieting expert but have found the following to be helpful:
1) Eat less Cheese Doodles
2) Move my big fat ass around the block occasionally
3) Stop drinking beer in a funnelator (at least during the week)

What is up with ... ?
Most non sequiturs will become clear with a better familiarity with Monty Python

Week 9 -1.4

2005-10-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

Another week in the red. Missed my 10% mark by 0.4 lbs. Naturally I was disappointed because I had planned to celebrate by a trip to my local burger & fries joint. I figure 21 lbs lost is worth a big pig out. Guess I'll get'em next week.

Glad our circle is expanding a bit. As a reminder, we welcome all who want a little company in trying to lose weight.

Requirements are:
1) Must have a blog about attempting to lose weight
2) Must want to be listed as a "Knight of the Round Bottom"
3) A chivalrous name is recommended but not required

Lessons Learned in Week 9

1) A pair of 4's is actually a relatively weak hand in Texas Hold'em before the flop(I do do other things besides think about weight loss you know)

2) White pizza is no less fattening than regular pizza

3) Jokes about "man boobs" have a near universal appeal

Weight: 190.6
Net Pounds Lost: -20
Knight's Total: -37

Sir Man Boobs

2005-10-03T13:29:00.000-07:00

A warm welcome to Sir Man Boobs (not just a pretty name). I ran across his blog when he commented on another weight loss blog. His tagline caught me so unawares that I almost got busted at work ("What's so funny? Are you reading blogs again?").

It's even funnier if you read it with a Scottish accent.

He has already taken off quite a chunk of change but has a way to go yet before he has reached his goal of losing 100 lbs. I hope we are the type of blogging support he thought might not to exist.

Looking forward to follwing your progress.

Chess is Fattening

2005-10-03T10:49:00.000-07:00

So all weekend I was a good boy. Well, I wasn't exactly saintly, but I was sure a lot better behaved than I have been for several weekends before. I check the scales this morning only to find that I have gained 3.5 since last Thursday. I racked my brains and finally recalled that I spent Saturday afternoon watching the World Chess Championships on the internet (Didn't you?).

I have come to the inescapable conclusions that chess makes you fat. This explains why all those guys at the chess club are the size of bloated gorillas. Naively, I had assumed it had something to do with their diet of pork rinds, cheeseburgers, and Oreos (taken in equal proportion). Now I know better. It's the chess that puts on the pounds.

It's too bad because in so many other ways chess makes you irresistible to the opposite sex.

Week 8 -3.4

2005-09-30T06:12:00.000-07:00

I know what you're thinking -- "What a frickin' whinner! Oh poor me, I can't lose weight. Oops, lost 3.5 pounds."

In response I say:

- HA ha, I'm skinny, so kiss my butt!
- I took off my shoes to weigh in

It was a bold and Spartan week filled with popcorn and green salad. From Monday on, I pretty much didn't eat anything that was not a core food. Well, except for the white wine, but that's really just a venal sin.

Lessons learned in Week 8

1) My work shoes weigh about 1.5 pounds

2) Fat free popcorn is not improved by seasoning salt

3) Co-workers will refuse fat free popcorn because "it doesn't smell very good anyway"

4) Aliens ate my Buick

5) Coffee on an empty stomach makes me kind of giddy when I weigh less than 193 lbs

My Weekly numbers
WWW: 192.0
HSW: 187.5
NPL: -19.0
KRBTNPL: -35.0 [Knights of the Round Bottom Total Net Pounds Lost]

PS Duchess? Will Madame be joining us anytime soon? No pressure. Just askin'. I know you are busy flash dancing and going to thingers, but we need ya, baby.

Week 7 - 0.8

2005-09-26T06:15:00.000-07:00

Another slow week. This weekend was not a screaming success either. I keep coming away Thursday night with big plans for a 3-4 pound week which goes by the wayside over the weekend. The best I can hope for by Thursday is another modest number in the red. The important thing is to keep the dowward trend. Maybe not such a bad thing to be going slowly.

Lessons learned in Week 7
1) Having a virus that makes you feel nasuseous is no guarantee of substantial weight loss

2) According to the eye doctor I saw on Friday, it is quite natural for a man my age to need reading glasses

3) Contrary to my theory about my arms being too short, I did in fact need reading glasses

4) A man should not wear reading glasses (and nothing else) while reading in bed unless he doess mind being a source of amusement for his wife

Welcome Duchess Tuckus
A warm welcome to our newest knight, Duchess Tuckus. The Duchess is still choosing her last meal but is planning on starting her quest RSN.

My Weekly numbers
WWW: 195.4 (Weight Watchers Weight)
HSW: 189.5 (Home Scale Weight)
NPL: -15.8 (Net Pounds Lost)

Becoming a single issue voter

2005-09-23T05:37:00.000-07:00

I have decided to give up on political parties. Never much cared for the Republican party, and I can't say I'm too impressed with the Democrats either. As of today, I hereby agree to cast my vote for whomever actually does the most to correct Global Warming and it's related problems. I don't give a flying fuck if the candidate is a member of the Nazi party if they do something to first slow, then stop, then reverse the Big Heat Up.

People have been predicting global warming since I was 10. People said it would never happen.

Then, data came along that said in fact it was happening. That data was claimed to be false. "Hysterical doomsday predictions by enviromental extremists".

Now, it is pretty accepted that the world's temperature has risen 1 degree in the last 50 years. Nobody really seems to argue that it is true anymore. How can you argue with a world full of thermometers? But they still refuse to believe it has anything to do with global warming. "Temperature changes are normal. We could just be in a natural upswing".

The number and strength of hurricaines has been increasing till we are all now versed in the lingo of category 1-5 and for the first time ever we may run out of names for them. This is natural consequence of higher global temeratures. I listened on the news last night to hear a meterologist claim that the hurricaine activity was the same. "The apparent increase is probably just a reflection of increased accuracy in measurement."

Clearly, common sense, scientific evidence and a few other things are not going to carry this day. My vote goes to the Global Cooling party because in 50 years, I want to be able to tell my grandchildren that I did everything I could.

I hope to God I'm just not telling them from the underground complex that is our new home.

Maybe I was just tired

2005-09-22T04:53:00.000-07:00

Went home last night, ate dinner and crashed at 7:30 PM. Slept 11 hours. Feel a lot better this morning. (I even threw away the number of the gun outlet.) I often wonder how often I overlook tiredness as the cause of my woes. By the way, if you don't have an understanding wife who does not complain when you fall asleep before your 7 year old, I sincerely suggest that you get one.

Weigh in later today. Think I'll be in the red but way short of 3 lbs.

Cat Lady needs a name and a new Grandmother
Laura, she who is going to die an old cat lady, has decided to join our quest. She is lacking a name for this endeavor, so if you have suggestions, just add to the other suggestions here. So far, my favorites is "Duchess Tuckus".

She is not quite ready to sign up though because she is currently seeking a new grandmother since hers is a pain. So if you can't think up a name for her and you have an extra grandma lying about, please send her on to the Cat lady.

Congrats to other noble questers
Sir Howling Belly and Sir Semisolid are off and running. Sir Howling Belly continues to work his way back down to where he can get on one bathroom scale for offical weigh in. Sir Semisolid hung in there even though his body seemed very resistant to the idea.

Thanks also to Tim, the Exercise Oracle, for his formal acceptance of his role. Though I know plenty about exercise, a few tweaks to my plan have helped immensely.

To date, the Knights of the Round Bottoms have lost a total of 26 lbs. That's a lot of lard, baby.

Hungry as a BIG DOG

2005-09-21T10:34:00.000-07:00

I'd like to say I'm hungry because I've been so damm good about the diet all week. However, this would be a non-truth. An impartial observer could have easily mistaken me for a non-dieter or even a drunken viking at a Golden Corral. I have been realtively good since I woke up this morning. I could just be going through food withdrawl.

Had salad for pre-lunch snack and then for lunch. Now I'm eating the low-fat, carcinogenric popcorn and drinking a Tab. When it gets really bad, I remember that this is America, and I can go out and buy an automatic weapon and start killing people till I feel better. I mean I remember how good it feels to be 15 lbs lighter ... lighter ... lighter ... lighter fluid to set fire to the skinny people at the frickin' health club. The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire.

Sorry, what I mean to say is that I am enjoying the challenge of making a new me. After all, the new me will just add to the several other me's that already talk in my head.

Week 6 -1.0

2005-09-16T05:48:00.000-07:00

Not much to report. Got it in the red this week which was good. I want to do 3 lbs this week. I am planning to hit a beer festival on Sunday though. This will require just about perfect behavior the rest of the week. Any weight loss will be an improvement over my past dieting trend to spike heavily at week 6.

Lessons Learned in week 6

1) Weighing 15 lbs less is way cool. Even though I am not even halfway to my goal weight, I feel a lot better.

2) Weight Watchers makes a 100 calorie ice cream bar that is awesome.

3) It is considered "bad form" to finish the last 3 Weight Watchers ice cream bars without consulting your wife.

4) There is no place open at 10:30 PM on Monday nights that sells Weight Watchers ice cream bars.

WWW: 196.2
HSW: 190.5
NPL: -15

Knights of the Round Bottoms

2005-09-13T06:10:00.000-07:00

Knights of the Round Bottoms it is!

I have put two links. The first is to Sir Semisolid, my brother is arms (and fat ass). The second is to the Exercise Oracle, a learned prophet of fitness lore. Like all Oracles, you never know if he'll answer your questions or that you'll understand the answer, but at least you'll have somewhere to go.

Call to Questers
Too long has the facinorous Celluloid ruled this fair land. It is time to rally the forces of good and drive evil from our hearts and flab from our thighs. Join us brothers and sisters as we journey from fustilug to fair waisted, from portly to petite. We lucky corpulent ones. The more the poundage the greater the glory!

Post your name and blog in the comments and join us as a Knight of the Round Bottom.

Round Knights Too Long at the Table ... Fat Guys in Black ( and White)

2005-09-12T06:08:00.000-07:00

I just received notice that my old friend Sancho Pawnza may come on board so that we may quest for slimness together. The last time Sancho and I teamed up we started the "Knights Errant de la Maza" -- a group of patzers who quest to improve at chess. There are about 20 or so them now (check out the Knight's Errant sidebar at this site for a listing).

So ... we need a name? Any ideas?

Don Quixote might not be right for weight loss either. Perhaps I need a new alter ego as well.

A lot going on, and it's only Monday.

Week 5 - 3.4 lbs

2005-09-09T05:06:00.000-07:00

Good week. For the first time, I am starting to feel different. More accurately, I am feeling like I look different. Not only am I more comfortable in clothes but also I actually look thinner (Not that I'm vain or ever notice anything about my appearance). In 7 more lbs I would reach my fist big goal which is to get to 10% of body weight lost, a total of 21 lbs.

I was thinking of hankering down and trying to make this in two weeks, but I have noticed an interesting trend in my two big prior weight loss efforts. I do great for 6 weeks and then fall off the wagon hard. One time I recovered; one time I did not. As such, I think I'm going to take it easy. Much more important is that I continue to lose any weight for the next few weeks.

Big run seems to have been the turning point on the Blues. I have been feeling much better since Tues. Coincidence? Maybe.

Lessons Learned in Week 5

1) One can get sick of popcorn if one eats a bag of it every day for 5 weeks

2) Whole wheat pasta tates essentially like regular pasta (and is allowable on the diet)

3) If you eat a humongo size bowl of whole wheat pasta, you will gain 2 lbs even though it is alowable on the diet.

4) It is possible to eat only one small piece of birthday cake at your 7 year old's birthday party

WWW: 197.2
HSW: 191.5
NPL: -14

Attempting to Beat the Crap Out of the Blues

2005-09-05T19:02:00.000-07:00

I always get depressed in late August and early September. I have had many theories about this over the years -- back to school anxiety, post-tramatic stress of ... something I can't remember, allergies. Bottom line is that it just happens. There is nothing that makes it come or go faster. It's kinda like a virus. I just have to let it run its course. Of course, just like virus, you try all kinds of crazy things to make it pass.

I can confirm what drunks all over the world have known for centuries. You can beat depresssion by drinking. Sadly, it only works until you sober up when things are a bit worse than when you started drinking. Did much experimentation with this in my college years.

Putting food on top of depression is a losing battle. Nothing is more depressing than being depressed and fatter than you were yesterday.

Have tried various distractions -- books, movies, etc. Can kinda help but like drinking when done you usually feel worse.

In fact, I've only found one thing that sometimes can make a difference -- exercise. Good exercise really can keep depression at bay and/or make it much more bearable. Trouble is that the absolute last thing in the world you want to when you have the blues is strap on a pair of Nikes and go trot around the block. Lying in bed staring at the ceiling fan sounds like much better idea.

Anyway, had to do something today. I was miserable just thinking about how miserable it must be to be around me. So I went running. In fact, I decided I would attempt to run myself into the ground. There are two ways to do this:

1) Run really fast until you feel like you are breathing fire.
2) Run a really long time until your legs, body and mind go numb.

1 has its advantadges. It's over much quicker, and it looks very manly (unless you puke). But I was afraid of popping the quad again...

OK, I wasn't. My quad feels fine. Frankly, I just hate running fast. I'd much rather run a 10 miler than a 5K. What can I say? I like a lot of air. So I opted for 2. Ran at a decent, though not by any means speedy, clip for an hour and a half. This is 3 times longer than my normal run and half an hour longer than my "long" runs.

The verdict -- I dunno. I think I actually feel a little better. If nothing else, I feel slightly virtuous and too gd tired to be nasty. We'll see tomorrow morning.

To Die a Cat Lady ousts Saucy Librarian

2005-09-05T06:41:00.000-07:00

Here endeth my life with Saucy Librarian. Hey, block me from access to your blog for 2 months and eventually I can take the hint. I have removed her from my template and replaced her with To Die a Cat Lady.

The Cat Lady is a fellow Saucy jiltee. She is a social worker so maybe we can form a support group. Quixotically she owns no cats but plans to be surrounded by them at her death. Hey, I used to be a 100% dog person and now love my cat. It could happen. I see no mention in her blog of tarting herself up to win chess tournaments, but she has twice placed in the money at wet t-shirt contests.

She looks like an interesting read.

Pop Goes the Quadricep

2005-09-04T12:37:00.000-07:00

Walked onto the soccer field yesterday, and boy was I ready. Had eaten a few hours earlier so I wouldn't be too hungry or full; brought a jug of water with ice; donned my new cleats. Took two steps and that was all she wrote. My quad folded like a pup tent. Felt like someone had just jammed an ice pick in it. Came home. Limped around all night. Thought I was done for a couple of weeks, but it is only sore today.

Went out for a very light jog today, and it held up just fine. I just hadda in order to complete my fourth run of the week and thereby extend my streak to 3 consecutive weeks. {Crowd goes wild}

Hope my quad behaves it so I can play next week.

Week Four -0.4

2005-09-02T10:05:00.000-07:00

Frankly, I'm pleased and undeserving. Porknomoria, the Greek goddess of weight loss, clearly has been smiling on me this week. Though I tried to be good during the week, I was less than virtuous.

Lessons learned during week 4:

1) Watch out for big physical exertion. Has a dual danger of leaving you famished and feeling deserving of mass consumables.

2) I'm supposed to be taking a daily multi-vitamin as part of the WW regimen.

3) If you eat salad long enough, you can start to discern a small amount of flavor in it.

4) Brown rice is impossible to cook.

5) If you lose weight while cheating on the program, it is best to keep this information to yourself when attending a Weight Watcher's meeting.

WWW: 200.4
HSW: 195.0
NPL: -10.6

Exercise is good. Diet a bit dodgy

2005-08-29T07:39:00.000-07:00

Completed my second week of the 4 times/week exercise regimen this weekend by playing soccer for an hour. My ears feel about the same. Other than that, everything hurts.

The diet had a few mishaps over the weekend. Well, I guess I had them; the diet itself cannot really be blamed. Surprisingly, the soccer game was one of the more damaging parts. Though it was great exercise, it left me famished. When you're that tired and hungry, it is pretty easy to blow by brown rice as unworthy of your weekend warrior heroics. Once blown, the diet is hard to recover on the weekend.

Sobering trip to the scale this morning. I'll shall be pleased to break even by Thursday.